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By August 17, 2026No Comments
The Swallowship — Swallow Don't Spit Wine

The Swallowship

of the wine

One does not simply come once.

▼ SCROLL TO BEGIN YOUR QUEST ▼

You found the secret page. Good.

The Swallowship is our returning guest program, and it works like every great role-playing game: the more quests you complete, the stronger you get. Except the quests are ski & wine weeks, and the stat you're building is discounts for life.

Six levels. One road. It only goes one way.

Quest Rules

SIMPLE ENOUGH FOR A LVL 0

RULE 1
+10%

Come on one trip and your next trip is 10% off. Any trip, any mountain, any country.

RULE 2
+20% for life

Come on two and you're a Certified Guzzler: 20% off every trip, forever — plus 10% codes to hand your friends. You are now the travel agent.

RULE 3
Speedrun it

Two trips this winter counts. Book January and February and you'll hit Guzzler before the snow melts. That's called a speedrun, and we respect it.

The Six Levels

FIND YOURSELF. THEN LEVEL UP.

LVL 0/5

Never Heard Of Us (Welcome!)

You water your garden and probably still spit out your wine. Nothing ever happens to you. And that's about to change.

PERKPeace. (Boring.)
LEVEL UPFollow @swallowdontspitwine. This is how it starts.
LVL 1/5

Swallow Curious

You have seen the videos. You have read the FAQs. You linger at the door, three tabs open.

PERKNone. Cowardice has no rewards.
LEVEL UPDrop the 1% deposit on any trip. Pay monthly. 99% refundable to 60 days out. The quest accepts you.
LVL 2/5

Swallower In Waiting

You have booked. The group chat awakens. You count the days and you have opinions about salopettes now.

PERKThe group chat. +Anticipation.
LEVEL UPWait for winter. Or book a second trip and speedrun to LVL 4 before the snow melts.
LVL 3/5

Swallowed

You went. You returned. You are not the same. You have drunk wine from a horn and you will not stop talking about it.

PERK+10% OFF your next trip. (Came last season? Yes — it counts.)
LEVEL UPBook the second. You know you are going to.
LVL 4/5

Certified Guzzler

Two trips deep. You now appear at your friends' doors uninvited, telling them about Georgia.

PERKS+20% OFF. FOR LIFE. +10% codes to hand your friends. You are now the travel agent.
LEVEL UPThere is one level beyond. Few have seen it.
LVL 5/5

Practically Choking On It

You have been on... you have lost count. You hiss whenever anyone asks how you can afford another ski trip. We are slightly worried about you. We would also like to offer you a job.

PERKVOLUNTEER STATUS UNLOCKED. Help host. Show new swallowers a good time. Legends only.
LEVEL UPThere is no level up. There is only more. DM "PRECIOUS" to apply.

Select Your Quest

WINTER 26/27 · 1% DEPOSIT · PAY MONTHLY

FILLING FAST

Rise Festival × Les Deux Alpes

DEC 5–12 · 7 NIGHTS · €1,400

Europe's biggest music festival at altitude, plus us. Price rises at 85% sold. The clock is real.

BEGIN QUEST →
GEN Z + MILLENNIAL WEEKS

Val Thorens

JAN 9 / JAN 16 / MAR 13 / MAR 20 · FROM €950

The world's best ski resort, split by generation so nobody has to explain TikTok to a 34-year-old.

BEGIN QUEST →
EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE 25/26

Georgia · Tbilisi + Gudauri

FEB 6 & FEB 14 · 7 NIGHTS · €1,050 ALL-IN-ISH

Ski the Caucasus. Drink the kvevri. Survive the chacha. Lift pass, every meal and the wine: included.

BEGIN QUEST →
APPLY ONLY

Kazakhstan · Almaty

FEB 27 – MAR 6 · 7 NIGHTS · €950

We've never been. Neither has anyone you know. Application, not booking. XP, not gold.

APPLY →
LONG WEEKEND

Italy · Livigno

JAN 28 & APR 1 · 4 NIGHTS · FROM €550

Duty-free wine prices, Olympic slopes, two days of annual leave. The efficient quest.

BEGIN QUEST →
THE SPRING SESSION

Les Deux Alpes

APR 3–10 · 7 NIGHTS · FROM €850

T-shirt skiing, glacier snow, empty pistes. The secret season the Alps doesn't advertise.

BEGIN QUEST →
PATCH NOTES v26/27
  • Levels are retroactive. Past trips count.
  • Barcelona tastings do not count as trips. Nice try.
  • Exploration trips grant XP, not gold — they level you up, but discounts do not apply to them.
  • Discounts don't stack with other codes. One potion at a time.
  • Full terms in the T&Cs.

Your move, adventurer.

Swallow Don't Spit Wine · Travel · Tastings · Zero Wine Wank
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